Friday confessions
There are many things that I don't understand about relationships. I am forever trying to figure out why it is that I'm alone, but I also find myself looking at some relationships around me and wonder why these 2 people are together. Am I just being cynical if I say that there aren't a lot of positive role models for good relationships out there? I know couples who stay together for the kids (not doing them any favours - I'm a product of that mentality), I know partners who cheat on each other, I know wives who "look the other way" for a variety of things (affairs, drug addictions, alcoholism, etc) just so they can have a husband and a comfortable life, and I've even had women tell me how much they hate their husband but would never leave because they like their big house.
My thoughts? Life is too short. Don't be with somebody that you don't want to be with. Don't hide from the ugly, painful things in life. Get to know yourself and stop blaming the other person. Be brave. Communicate. If "okay" is good enough, then so be it - but doesn't the other person deserve to know what you're thinking?
Having said all this, I do believe that relationships require a lot of hard work. And happiness is not a realistic expectation to have every day. I've had my share of bad relationships, but I've also had some really great ones and have to take responsibility for the fact that I have completely blown it with some really great men. I have a friend who has discovered the qualities that he needs in a relationship - he summed it up in 2 words: fun and exploration. He then asked me how I would sum up what I need .... hmmm ..... I thought it would be easy to answer this on the spot. Having given it some thought, I think that I need exploration for sure (sorry to borrow your word C), passion (embrace the good and the bad), and self-awareness (so everyone can stop dumping their "stuff" on the other person).
What do you need?