The Wedding Ring

Recent true story from Houston Medical Center in a local paper:

A man went to the hospital to have his wedding ring cut off from his penis. According to the Nurse attending, the patient's mistress found the ring in his pants pocket and she got so mad at him, she used petroleum jelly to slip the ring on his penis while he was asleep.

I don't know what's worse:
1) Having your mistress find out you're married.
2) Explaining to your wife how your wedding ring got on your penis.
3) Or finding out your penis fits through your wedding ring!