If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.
I received an email from an old acquaintance with the news that his wife is expecting their 2nd child in the summer. And the first word that came to my mind was .... pathetic.

Let me back up a bit. This is a guy who checked out of his marriage before it even began. He was given the ultimatum - we get married, or we break up. He says that he picked the easier of the 2 and got married. Without getting into any details, I just feel sorry for both of them. Adding kids to their life has finally given them something to talk about and a reason for him to stay in the marriage. (Y'all know my thoughts on "staying together for the sake of the kids" mentality.)

So I just didn't respond to the email. I talked to my friend J yesterday about it, and she had a similar story involving a guy in her office. He got married, didn't really want to, has had affairs (that wifey knows about), and having kids is their way of hanging on and not really dealing with the big issues that are in front of them. J could actually understand somewhat what these poor pathetic men are going through - she realizes (now) that she got pregnant with her 2nd child, and 1st for that matter, when her marriage wasn't really a happy, stable one. And as of this week - she has moved out (kids are now 10 and 6). According to J - it's easy to convince yourself that life is okay when it appears that way on the surface.

Not me. I can't do that. I don't give a shit what things LOOK like. And I don't care if people don't understand some of the decisions that I've made .... crawl into my skin and see things for what they really are and then tell me what you'd do in those situations. I could never pretend that infidelity wasn't happening (and trust me, it has happened far too often in my relationships) and I would struggle if I knew that the guy I was with didn't really want to be with me. Buh-bye.