Sunday Rant
Okay - I am officially very hurt and pissed off. My 40th birthday is approaching, and for the past year I have been telling my son that it would be so nice if somebody made a big deal and planned a "surprise" party for me. Since there is no significant other in my life, E thought that he could handle it, especially since my sister got on the bandwagon and told him that she would help. October - better start planning. November - better start planning. December - sister is here and they talk about the fact that they better start planning .... you get the picture. Lots of talk. My friend J even joined in and offered to help.

January rolls around and my son decides that maybe he should get the email addresses of my friends. With lots of complaining about how hard this is to plan. Pretty sure that he never used the list. Today I got the call from my sister telling me that it's too hard to plan - they've been thinking about what they're going to do for me, but it's not going to happen. And my expectations were too high.

Are you kidding me? How long have they known about this. How many countless f***ing hours has my child spent playing video games or on the computer when he could have been emailing my friends. My sister is unemployed for God's sake - plenty of time to email people, no?!?!?!?! And there's my precious, self-absorbed teenager who expects handouts all the time (like the $1500 cruise that he's going on and that took me more than a year of saving to pay for), and who needs me to write a note to tell him to pick up the recycling bins at the end of the driveway because, and I quote, "you can't expect me to remember to do something like that!" I used to send my friends birthday cards every year - friends that went way back to highschool and university. And for years I didn't even get a thank you, or a birthday card in return. So I decided to stop sending them - nobody gave a crap about my thoughtful gesture. Then there's the parties that I've tried to plan in the past couple of years - you send out invites and most people wait to see if "something better comes up" before replying. A lot of people who RSVPed to say that they would attend, just wouldn't bother showing up. So no more parties - I couldn't stand the apathy.

Would it have killed people to make an effort and make a big deal about me for a change? I haven't exactly been feeling great about myself lately, and to tell you the truth I'm an emotional mess about my surgery in a week. Why can't anybody look beyond themself, suck it up, put in a bit of work, and make my day. My birthdays are always ignored - nobody has made a big deal about me in ....... I don't even know how long. So in about 3 weeks I'm going to be turning 40 and it will be just another day. Just another pathetic day.