Relationships, and why we've got it all wrong
It wouldn't be my blog without some weekend reflections on relationships. Yes, another weekend spent BY MYSELF (which is okay - really, I needed the rest) despite the fact that there are various men out there who are supposedly very keen on meeting me and/or going out with me again. The phrase "he's just not that into you" has gone through my head a few times this weekend, because I figure that if a guy is digging me then he'll find an hour in his day to meet me for coffee at the very least.

Anyhow, I read an article a while back about the fact that women have got it all wrong when it comes to marriage. Our emphasis on communication and intimacy has taken all the fun out of men just being men. Specifically it stated that:

• couples who expess physical affection, such as cuddling, are draining the sexual tension from their relationship
• the only way to create the emotional space that will trigger your mate's desire for you is to rudely ignore your partner
• all the verbal sharing that happens in a couple (eg. how was your day honey?) is draining the mystery from the relationship

When I read those 3 points, I envision old Hollywood - you know, the glamour and sexual tension that is captured in movies from the 40's and 50's. Lots of verbal foreplay between the man and the woman - a sort of I don't want you, catch me if you can attitude towards the men, definitely bordering on rude behaviour sometimes. You would never see a man and woman holding hands, or cuddling on the couch. Romance was a dramatic I can't stand it - I must have you NOW embrace with a big smooch (cue the music).

So I'm not sure if I agree with what I read, but it makes one think. How many times have I been caught up with a guy who just loves the thrill of the chase, and then once he has you - over. This is probably my biggest beef with online dating - it's the thrill of contacting a woman and seeing if she'll reciprocate the interest. She does - okay, boring - let's click on another pretty woman and see what she'll do. Instant gratification. Playing hard to get (ie. rudely ignoring your partner) was never a game that I liked to play. I'm just usually too naive to notice that somebody is actually interested in me!