Parenting 101
According to child development expert, Dr. Mustard (no joke - that's really his name) only about 1/3 of Canadian parents are doing a great job. The rest are either OK or, and I quote, "godawful". This guy doesn't mince words - he's passionate about early childhood development and has devoted a large chunk of his life to studying it, and he says that he has given up on Canada getting early childhood education right.

"If you want a highly competent population with limited behaviour problems and no violence, then you don't have any choice but to invest in early childhood development. Since parents have the dominant effect on a child, you want to make damn certain you give parents every opportunity to be good."

Canada ranks last among developed nations in spending on early childhood development. And there is overwhelming evidence that brain development in the early years of life affects everything from behaviour to mental and physical health. Our culture has some problems. I see some very good intentions on the parts of parents, but we smother our kids and use them to "fix" troubled marriages or to patch a hole in our self-esteem. And who would ever admit to that?

Have you ever been in the grocery store, or at a movie and just cringed when you've heard some of the interactions that occur between parent and child? Worse yet - what if some of the pathetic parenting that you witness happens to be one of your friends? Do you tell them that the reason that their child is such a sociopathic terror is because of them?

I think that we need more of a sense of community in this society. Gone are the days when nuclear families existed, and kids were always under the careful watch of an extended family or caring neighbours. When I was young, I would be out all day in the summer with the instructions to "come home when the streetlights turn on" - because my parents knew everybody in the neighbourhood and they all looked out for each other's kids. I used to walk to school sans parents in kindergarten. I was nervous to let my 10 year old walk to the bus by himself. You can argue that the world is a "crazier" place and kids need to be protected more, but is that really true? I think that what's happening is that we just hear more about some of the crazy shit that happens because that's the kind of news that sells. I don't think that the statistics on child abductions, or child abuse has changed much over the last few decades. We've just become a society based on fear.

Sick ..... again
I have come down with some sort of illness yet again - last night I had a sore throat and fever. This morning I feel better (good enough to do 40km on my bike), but I'm still not 100%. I am getting sick every 3 weeks or so - and it's so tiring. I've had the flu a few times, stomach things, sinus cold (lasted 10 days!), and now this sore throat/fever thing. What the hell is going on? I realize that my body has been through some major trauma from my surgery, but I feel like my immune system isn't on.

My friend J told me to take apple cider vinegar pills - she has a friend who drinks the stuff (mixed with something else, but yuck!) every day and is never sick. And my mother still swears by echinacea, although I have never had much success with that.

Any suggestions to get me well again?

Crazy
I was listening to "The Edge" on the radio this morning on my way to the doctor's office, and the DJs were talking to the craziest woman - it was scary. She was one of those bible-thumping fanatics from butt-fuck USA (Kansas) .... you know the ones that spew hatred and are intolerant of anybody who isn't white and bible-toting. She has 11 kids, and goes to many rallies to make her hatred known to others (of course, she doesn't see it as such - apparently God hates all people who do not believe). The DJs tracked her down and called her because they saw a picture somewhere and her 5 year old son was holding a sign that said "God hates fags". I kid you not.

The DJs were kind of being real dinks about the situation (who can blame them) and were making all sorts of wise-cracks related to sex, but it truly is frightening to think about millions more like her roaming this earth. The religious fanatics are so scary - I personally think that they're all mentally ill. And it's hard having compassion and trying to understand where they are coming from.

And here I thought that God stood for love thy fellow man; judge not for then He will judge you; do unto others as you would like them to do unto you ........ etc. Apparently I've got it all wrong from what I heard this morning.

No wonder our world is going to hell with idiots like this around.

Out of shape
I. Am. So. Out. Of. Shape. It's bad. Sure I have all sorts of excuses (work full-time, commute, surgery, kids, etc.) but I cannot believe that I have let myself go so badly. I worked so hard about 2 years ago and lost a ton of weight and felt better than I ever did in my 20's. And in one year I'm back to the blob and my clothes don't fit. I took my new bike out on Friday, Saturday, Sunday, and now tonight. And I felt like crying after Saturday. But then Sunday I managed more than an hour and felt better. Tonight was better still so maybe there's hope.

Songs that rock right now:

• new Arcade Fire, Keep the Car Running
• 30 Seconds to Mars, From Yesterday
• Aimee Mann, Wise Up (old song, but man she rocks!)
• Tokyo Police Club, Nature of the Experiment

With Sally Gal on holidays, I'm feeling lonely with no comments on my blog ...... sniff.

Maddie's Story
I want to tell you a story about a girl in Hamilton named Maddie. I read about her in the paper this morning and her story stood out from all the other sad, depressing, angry events that happen in our world.

Maddie is a 15-year old girl who was diagnosed with Ewing's Sarcoma (rare and aggressive bone cancer) when she was 12. She has had months of chemotherapy and radiation treatments over the years and her cancer has come back 3 times. When Maddie was asked what she wanted by the Children's Wish Foundation, she didn't ask for a trip to Disneyworld or to meet her favourite movie star (not that there's anything wrong with either), but she wanted something that would make a difference. So she asked for money to build a school for children less fortunate, and her wish was granted in the form of a school in Africa's Massai Mara.

After she got the school built, she decided that it needed a well. She began selling homemade jewellery from her bed at the hospital. When she returned to highschool she started fund-raising and has managed to raise $10,000 for the well. She is now setting her sights on raising more money to build a village around the school, pay for the teachers' salaries, and school supplies.

And there's more. Maddie's father died of ALS (Lou Gehrig's disease) when she was 6. When he was dying, she cared for him and did her best to cheer him up and looked after her little brother.

What an amazing human being this girl is. I had tears in my eyes by the time that I was finished reading the story. And you should see the picture that accompanies the story in the paper - after everything that this girl has been through, she is still smiling. Truly inspiring.

Word
I sent out a challenge to my friends last week - describe me in one word. I'll try to ignore the pathetic response rate (one word people!), but here's what I got back:

• vibrant
• strong
• wonderful
• distinct
• Mammalicious

Okay, you can probably guess who sent me the last one - way to coin a new term E! Oh dear - I just thought of something .... maybe the other people didn't reply because the word that they would use isn't so positive. I hope not.

Welcome to the updated, spring edition of my blog. I thought that it was fitting to give the blog a new, lighter look on account of the change in seasons. Gives it a fresh kind of look, don't you think?

It is so nice and quiet at work now that the students are gone for study week before final exams. I love it when it's quiet and you don't have to wait 20 minutes for an elevator and there are no students around to ask you stupid, lazy questions - I'm not supposed to feel this way am I? Students are my job ..... oh well.

B starts football soon. I hate football. But you should see the little bugger in his big shoulder pads and helmet, with his cute little bum shoved into those tight black pants. Just don't expect me to learn what the stupid rules are for the game - it took me 3 years to figure out what off-side was in hockey.

Breaking the addiction
M. King Hubbert was a geophysicist for Shell Oil. Back in 1956 he came up with what is now known as the Hubbert Peak Theory, more commonly referred to as Peak Oil. The theory is based on the fundamental fact that oil reserves are finite (finite - not infinite). The rate of petroleum production follows a bell-curve - a steep incline due to new reserves being discovered, a peak, and then a decline as the oil reserves are depleted. The controversy of the theory is whether it's ability to predict the peak is accurate.

Hubbert predicted that peak oil production would occur in the US around 1965-1970. It peaked in 1970. Hubbert predicted a global peak around 2006. Here's the scary part - peak oil discovery peaked in 1965. Peak oil production has probably occurred already, some suggest it happened in 2004, some say 2005.

Why is our society still believing that we have an endless supply of oil? We need to transform our thinking NOW. It won't be easy to change our ways - it requires a change to our lifestyle and to our society's infrastructure. Perhaps Hubbert was off on his predictions, but the fact still remains that oil reserves are not endless - the question is not will oil production peak, but when will it peak? Our economy needs to change to one that no longer relies on the supply of cheap oil.

On a personal note - I am amazed that there are still people out there who argue that global warming doesn't exist. And I cannot believe the number of new SUV's that I'm seeing on the road. People who, no doubt, want to avoid the new "luxury" tax that will be in effect soon for those who choose to buy gas guzzling vehicles. Luxury tax! What a misnomer - here's my suggestions for the tax:

• Dumb-ass tax
• Stupidity tax
• FU Mother Nature tax
• Keeping up with the Jones' tax
• Big car, small brain tax
• It's all about me tax

You get the picture.

Friday the 13th
If you're a superstitious person, then today is not a favourite day. So I've decided to think about ten lucky things that have happened in my life:

1. I don't have cancer.
2. My kids have always been relatively healthy, they do well in school, they're close to their family, and they're good to their mom.
3. I was able to travel to Europe last year, and I'm going again in May.
4. On the same topic - I'm renting an apartment when I'm in Paris .... ooh la la!
5. I own my own house and my credit rating rocks.
6. I've always managed to impress the right people in my career.
7. I've won the lottery a couple of times - okay, so it's never been more than $80 but that's something right?
8. I'm friends with people that I've known since grade 4, highschool, and university.
9. My boobs are still impressive (maybe that's not luck, but a good "support system").
10. I live in a great country and never have to worry about war or starvation.

Have a lucky day!

It's f-f-f-freezing!
My furnace has decided not to work again and it's frickin cold in this house. I woke up this morning to a chilly 61 degrees and tried EVERYTHING to get the darn thing working. No luck. I ended up having to blow-dry my body using my hair dryer to get warm. And now that I'm home from work and they say that a storm is heading our way - it's 59 degrees. The damn thing shut off about 2 weeks ago for 2 days, but it was warmer then. And then it started working again. I'm sure that a repair guy is going to charge me an arm and a leg just to step inside my house, let alone fix the thing.

I think that my hairy, smelly teenager, and my 10-year old that snores are going to be under my electric blanket with me tonight.

Rate your MD
Have you seen this website - http://www.ratemds.com/canada/index.jsp? I strongly encourage you to visit it and add a comment if you particularly love or hate something about your doctor. I was so incensed at the treatment that I get from my doctor's receptionist that I had to comment. No interpersonal skills for this woman - you actually feel ashamed for being sick and wanting to see a doctor when you call for an appointment. Lots of sighing and huffing on the phone and she tries to find an appointment in the next millenium for you.

Don't be dissin' my Sport .....

I saw Blades of Glory this weekend and boy, does it ever make fun of figure skating! I went with a fellow ex-figure skater and when you know the sport inside and out, it made for some great entertainment. Trust me - I found the humour in it all. And hopefully anyone who is a fan of figure skating doesn't have their nose out of joint. There is a lot to make fun of when it comes to figure skating - the drama, the costumes, etc. But you also have to appreciate what great athletes these individuals are (not exactly the beer bellied flabbiness portrayed by Will Ferrel's character). There were a lot of cameos by real skaters - most notedly little Scott Hamilton who held his own against Will. Seeing the costumes that they came up with for the movie is almost worth the price of admission - whoever thought of the homeboy outfits that Amy Poehler and Will Arnett wore are genius.

The Secret
I'm sure that everybody has heard of this phenomenon by now. Oprah did a show on it a while back, and the book is selling like crazy. I had the Secret reinforced today as I sat down to watch the DVD that my sister gave me as one of my "40 survival kit". It is amazing how quickly I can stray off the path, get sucked into my negative thoughts, and then wonder why things are way wrong. I would like to put it out there right now, that I am officially back on track.

"You create your own universe as you go along." Winston Churchill

This is essentially the bottom line of the Secret. The thoughts and feelings that you put out there are what you will get in return. The laws of attraction say it is so. I have a friend who lives by the Secret every day of her life, and she is a joy to talk to and be around. Most people think that she's "out there" and don't get her, but that's their problem. Because the one thing that B taught me more than anything, is to ask for what I want, have faith that it will come, and then allow it to come. As I was watching the DVD I thought about the words that I've been using lately - second-guessing, doubt - all negative. How many times do I think that life is a disappointment? People are a disappointment? Far too often. No wonder my dating life hasn't been working out - I'm drawing these people in.

There are 3 main steps to the Secret:

1. Ask - make a command to the universe for what you want
2. Believe - believe that what you want is already yours
3. Receive - feel the way that you will feel when you get what you want.

Sounds easy, right? I for one, am going to try and start each day with a bit of gratitude. So here goes - things that I am grateful for:

• my 2 wonderful boys who are healthy, happy, intelligent, interesting, and who like to talk to me and spend time with me
• my warped sense of humour
• financial stability
• friends that I can talk to
• living in Dundas
• soft skin
• my new bike

Missing .... Men with Integrity
More "dating sucks" stories from the trenches. You've probably read my Flake story by now, so you know how things are generally going for me when it comes to dating. Well, met yet another guy a week ago. Hit it off, spent a few hours talking about anything and everything, ended with him wanting to see me again. I hate to repeat myself ...... but do you think that I've heard from him??????

So now I'm second-guessing myself. I realize that I can be naive and take people at their word. After all, why would people bullshit and say things that they don't mean? And I think that I'm smart enough to tell when it's a good time versus a "get me the hell out of here" time. I've had those "get me the hell out of here" dates, and thankfully my intuition was such that I set it up so that my friend J would call on my cell during these dates to "get me the hell out of there". I have always believed that I have good intuition when it comes to reading people .... now I'm wondering if that's true.

The men that I'm meeting need an instant sign that they see me as (a) somebody they could date long-term, or (b) somebody to just have sex with. Me - it takes a bit longer than 10 seconds to make some sort of a connection. If you ask me, men are maturing backwards. I think that they hit their peak maturity around 30 and then it's downhill from there.

I have to believe that there are some decent people using the online thing to meet others. After all, I'm on there aren't I? And I know some success stories as well. I have to remain optimistic that a decent man will cross my computer one day. In the meantime, I'll keep meeting the Flakes and Rinky-dinks and have some great stories.

A Sad Story
This morning I wasn't feeling well - I have a wicked sinus cold. I vacillated between calling in sick to work and actually going to work. I finally decided that I would take the later VIA train. Wrong choice.

The train that I was on hit and killed a pedestrian. I heard a person being pulverized beneath the wheels of my train car. Apparently by the time a person has been hit by the engine, and then bounced under the remaining wheels of the train cars, there isn't much left that resembles a human body. I don't know whether this was an accident (like somebody walking on the tracks who didn't hear the train coming) or whether it was a suicide. I was stuck on the train for about 3 hours while the coroner came and investigated and then released the train. The engineers were replaced as well so that they could be whisked away to counselling. I can't even imagine how they feel, but I reckon that it's pretty horrible. Our train then had to go through the VIA train yard so that we could wash the blood and guts off.

I've been delayed before because of fatalities like this, but I've never been on the actual train who has hit somebody. The more the day wore on, the more it sank in and is affecting me. I can't help but imagine who this person was. A teenager who made the bad decision to listen to his iPod while he took a short-cut to school? Or somebody in the darkest of despair who wanted to end his/her life in a violent way? I'll never know.

Vanity-schmanity
"If one has no vanity in this life of ours, there is no sufficient reason for living." Leo Tolstoy

I did something the other day that I vowed I would never do. Botox. When Botox first appeared in the news as the latest and greatest thing in the war against aging, I thought that anybody who would even consider injecting botulism into their face was insane. And I think that everybody can think of some creepy Botox faces gone very, very wrong - Joan Rivers, Nicole Kidman ("the freeze"), etc. But years went by, I read about it, researched it, and then spoke to my dermatologist about it. And took the plunge - literally - the needle plunge into my face. And the difference is subtle, which is exactly what I was looking for. I just did the area above my eyes, and I no longer have the fine scrunchy lines between my eyebrows and my eyes don't look so tired. It's a bit freaky to not be able to make some fine movements with my eyebrows, but for the most part, I don't notice a difference at all.

Am I vain? Maybe. I try to take care of myself by eating right and exercising, and I've become much better at this over the past few years. Acne and sun exposure have taken a big toll on my face, and I've spent more money over the past year trying to correct the damage that's been done than I've probably spent in the other 38 years combined. So the question I kept asking myself when I was trying to decide whether I would do the Botox or not: Is it wrong to want to look good? And to do little "extras" to look good? What's the difference between the treatments that I got to get rid of my acne scars and sun damage and wanting a little Botox?

I like the age that I'm at. I don't want to be 20 again. And I don't want to try and look 20 when I'm 40. I feel that I deserve to do some things for me, and me alone. Whether that be a new, expensive bike (which I just bought), a little Botox, or a trip to Paris - I'm going to do it.